just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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