please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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