whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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