I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
