ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
