I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
