I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
