So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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