Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
