Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
