I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
