Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Randomize