before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
