I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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