and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
