remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
