butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
