You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
