Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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