On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
