His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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