The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
