"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
They took my balls.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
