Kareoke will never be a sober sport
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
