fuck your aforementioned shoe
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
