hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
