the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize