I heard we made out
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Randomize