Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
