Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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