# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Randomize
