did you get engaged???
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
they need to just BURY HIM!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
