a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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