Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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