Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
