worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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