Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
