do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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