I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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