honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
