Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
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