the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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