I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
