I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
