Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
