so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
