dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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