The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
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