That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
