Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
