If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize