id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Randomize
