whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's official drugs can't kill me
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
