I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
