did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
