I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
