Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize