So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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