She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
