Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
