Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Randomize
