your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
