I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize